


"I love you. I know."

by stilinskmalinsk



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Allison is still with Scott, F/M, Stydia, allison isn't dead
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-18
Updated: 2015-11-18
Packaged: 2018-05-02 05:53:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5236784
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stilinskmalinsk/pseuds/stilinskmalinsk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The 7 times he almost told her and the one time he did.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"I love you. I know."

**Author's Note:**

> this is inspired by this post on tumblr i saw awhile back saying "8 ways to tell her you love her". this is my first stydia fic one shot thing? i hope you like it because i really enjoyed writing it. it made me really sad and happy. i just really love stydia you know? anyways in this fic allison is ALIVE and STILL WITH SCOTT. idc i like to pretend allison isn't dead ok. let me LIVE.

1\. It was 2 am and the party we were at was in full swing. People were dancing and laughing, shots were being downed and the music was too loud. I was leaning up against a wall across the room, watching the crazy party goers get drunk and stumble around. I laughed when I saw Scott fall flat on his ass while trying to do a keg stand. I took a sip of my beer and our eyes met. You were out back dancing on the grass with Allison and Kira. Your hair cascaded down your back and whipped in the wind as you moved to the beat of the music. A slight grin spread across your face as you looked at me and my heart began to race. You swayed your hips to the fast paced music, and I was captivated. I remember it like it was yesterday, you had whispered something to Allison and both of you looked in my direction. You started walking over to me and as you got closer to me you began to shimmy your shoulders to the beat of the music making me laugh out loud. You smiled wide and grabbed my hand leading me back outside to where everyone was at. We danced to a bunch of upbeat pop music and we laughed the whole time. I remember it all so well because that was the same night i almost told you I loved you. We were in the kitchen right after dancing and we were getting some more beers for the girls when you told me how great it was to finally have a night of fun, no worries and no supernatural troubles. I agreed and handed you two beers. I watched as you set one beer down and open yours. Your face was glistening with a light sweat and your hair around your face was sort of sticking to your cheeks and forehead. Your cheeks were slightly flushed and your eyebrows were furrowed with annoyance. You struggled to open it and with an annoyed sigh you looked up at me pouting. I smiled down at you and took the bottle from your hands. I opened it easily and handed it back to you. You thanked me and rose to your tip toes to give me a kiss. That’s when the words began to make their way up my throat. Right before they escaped my mouth I took a big chug from my bottle and tried to push those three little words back down. You looked at me confused and it felt like you were going to say something, but before you could Allison and Kira yelled your name trying to get you back outside to dance to your guys' favorite song. I shut my eyes tight and whispered how stupid I was for not saying it then. For the rest of the night I kept my distance and hung out with Scott and Isaac. I felt your eyes on me the whole night. 

 

2\. A week after that party I planned to tell you again, but this time more in a more romantic way. I sent you flowers, chocolate, and a huge teddy bear. I told you to be ready by 7 and you agreed giggling at the gesture. I remember hating myself afterwards because I felt like it was too cheesy and too cliche. I later brought it up in conversation and you shook it off saying it was “cute” and “nice”. I picked you up at 7 like I said and I took you out to dinner. We went to that really nice restaurant downtown where all the waiters wear a tux and the people there look really rich and snobby. Even though we both felt uncomfortable and out of place, you looked amazing in that short red dress and black heels. The way your hair fell in waves over your shoulder and the candle light shined across your face motivated me to tell you even more. I tugged on my tie and cleared my throat a little too loud making you laugh and an older couple look over at our table annoyed. I apologized and sat up straight reaching for your hand. You smiled and cocked your head to the side watching me open and close my mouth trying to build up the courage to say something. Right on cue, as if it were a sign from above, the waiter came with our check and all the courage I had built up in the past ten seconds faded away and I let go of your hand. I took you home around 9:30 and kissed you goodnight before mentally kicking myself in the ass for not saying it then. 

 

3\. One night when Scott and Isaac got me piss drunk, they convinced me to call you up and tell you then. They called me a pussy and asked why I had not done it months ago. I picked up my phone and tapped in your number that I knew by heart now and held the phone up to my ear. Scott poured me another shot of whiskey for courage and I downed it eagerly. Since it was three in the morning it went straight to your voicemail and I remember the three of us cursing and groaning. Instead of hanging up I kept talking. I told you how pretty I thought you were and I told you that i loved hanging out with you. I told you how I have had a crush on you since the third grade, to which led to a groan and face palm from both Scott and Isaac. I slurred out the first two words and then stopped. It was silent and the boys encouraged me to keep going, but I chickened out and said that I loved your strawberry blond hair and green eyes. I hung up immediately and the guys hit me over the head yelling at me for not saying it. I couldn’t do it, I was too afraid of what you might say the morning after. The next day you called me back laughing at how cheesy I was for calling you drunk out of my mind. I cringed in embarrassment before you said that you loved it and it made you smile. That night we talked on the phone mindlessly until we both fell asleep. There were so many missed opportunities to tell you, yet it never left my mouth. 

 

4\. When you invited me over to your apartment that Summer night because you were scared and needed someone to be with you, I showed up with movies and popcorn. You smiled and kissed me quickly before letting me in. We sat and watched movies all night, just cuddled up on the couch. I played with your hair as your head rested on my lap while you laid down spread out on the sofa. I twirled your hair in between my fingers and listened to your steady breathing as we watched your favorite movie that you knew word for word. I smiled as your favorite part came on and you repeated the script as if you were one of the actors. After the movie we sat in silence as the credits rolled. You turned onto your back and looked up at me. I could of sworn you were about to say it. It was something in the way you stared up at me. Instead you smiled and sat up, placing both of your hands on either side of my face before pulling me toward you and kissing me passionately. We made out for a good twenty minutes before we finally pulled apart because your phone rang. I remember you silenced it and went back to kiss me but I grabbed your wrists and looked you straight in the eyes. You seemed so vulnerable and beautiful. You didn't look like the tough confident Lydia Martin I knew and loved. I was suddenly overwhelmed with emotions and opened my mouth to say it, but stopped when your phone rang again. You huffed and broke eye contact before snapping out a hello into your phone. The color in your face drained when you found out it was Scott calling you about Allison. She was hurt and was on her way to the hospital. After finding out where they were you hung up and jumped off the couch immediately. As you tried to explain the situation to me, you ran around your apartment looking for your shoes and keys. I stood up and frantically put on my shoes grabbing our sweaters and following you to the front door. You handed me the keys saying you weren't in the right mindset to drive. As we drove off towards the hospital I stole glances at you in the passenger seat. You were wiping tears from your cheek and my heart ached. I reached for your hand and you gripped it as if your life depended on it. You looked over at me with tear filled eyes and smiled weakly. I squeezed your hand and brought it up to my lips kissing the back of your hand. I wanted to tell you then, but it wasn't the right time. 

 

5\. I wanted to tell you right after we found out Allison was ok but the timing wasn't right and you were too busy sobbing into Allison's bedside telling her how much she meant to you and how you were so happy she was okay. I wanted to tell you then because as I saw Scott's face filled with relief I realized I don't know what I would do without you. I started to panic thinking about what I would of done if this was you and not Allison. It hit me that if you died i would literally go out of my freaking mind. I waited until you were done talking to Allison and had finally stopped crying before Scott and I walked into her hospital room. Allison smiled at me as I sat down next to you. We stayed with her until visiting hours were over and as we walked out toward the car hand in hand, I got the courage to say it but then stopped when you looked at me and began crying again. You told me you didn't know what you would of done if you lost her. I held you tightly in the parking lot until you had calmed down. As you looked up at me thanking me for being there for you I was about to say it, but stopped. This time I didn't know how to word it or say it in a way that would make you fully understand how much you meant to me. Instead I kissed you so passionately hoping the message would translate into my body language and the way I held you tightly to me. I kissed you with everything I had and prayed to God you would never leave me. 

 

6\. A couple months later after we had already been dating for quite some time, you spent the night at my place and that was the first time we actually slept together. We had fooled around once or twice before, but this time it was way different. The way your nails scratched at my back and the way you moaned my name made me lose control. I almost said it then, as your legs wrapped tightly around me and you ran your hands through my hair. I almost said it when you shook with ecstasy and moaned my name so loudly I was sure my neighbors heard it. I was so overwhelmed with love for you it almost slipped from my mouth as I came right after you. It was on the tip of my tongue, about to pour out when I buried my face into your neck and bit my bottom lip, trying my hardest not to say it. Afterwards we laid next to each other breathless and panting. You turned toward me and wrapped your arm around my torso, snuggling up to my side. I smiled and wrapped an arm around you as you rest your head on my chest. I pulled the covers over us and we laid there in silence, nothing but our heavy breathing and the ticking of the clock on the wall could be heard. I ran my fingers up and down your back as you sighed contently closing your eyes. You fell asleep shortly after and I laid there looked up at the ceiling. I counted the seconds between each of your slowing breaths before I looked down at you and watched your beautiful face as you slept. When I was 100% sure you were asleep I whispered it into your hair, so quiet I was unsure if i had even said it. When you moved closer to me, stirring in your sleep, I panicked and shut my eyes. I pretended to be asleep until I finally passed out. The next morning I hoped and prayed that you hadn’t heard me. Whether you did, or didn't you didn't say a thing about it as we sat and ate breakfast. 

 

7\. I was planning on doing it somewhere romantic like when we went on that trip to Disneyland with all our friends. I was going to tell you in front of the castle right before we left the park. As we rode all the rides in Tomorrowland I felt completely confident, I almost slipped up and told you in line when we were waiting for Space Mountain even. It was just the way the sun shined down on you and the way you stood listening to everyone in our group bicker and joke around. I watched how you stood getting kind of tired and hot from waiting in line for too long. Your sunglasses were over-sized yet fit perfectly for your face, and your shorts were just short enough to show off your amazing legs. I had to turn away and stop myself from saying it then. I had to use every ounce of self control I had to hold myself back from saying it when we were riding Star Tours. I think it was the way you looked at the screen in awe as our seats moved fast and jolted us forward. I wasn’t even paying attention to the screen half of the time because my eyes were on you and how you laughed and squealed at every little bump or turn. What really got me is when Chewbacca hit the screen and slide down, startling everyone one the ride. As soon as it happened I watched as you jumped and immediately turned to me mouth in the shape of an 'O' and i couldn't help myself but burst out laughing at how adorable you looked. You scrunched your nose at me and laughed along hitting my arm gently. I was going to say it then but the ride ended and Scott eagerly jumped out of his seat pulling Allison along and calling for us to hurry up so we can get to the Indiana Jones Ride. As you held my hand throughout the Pirates of the Caribbean ride, snuggled close to my side I almost said it then. It was quiet and dark, you looked around at all of the animatronic pirates, and gasped when you spotted the Johnny Depp one. I almost said it again as we waited in line to eat in New Orleans Square. It was then that I knew I was absolutely in love with you. You asked me about everything on the menu and made faces at the ones you weren't interested in, and you raised your eyebrows at the ones that sounded good. When you saw Princess Tiana walk past you got extremely excited and took as many pictures as you could of her as she walked past. I almost said it then and it would of been the most natural thing I would have ever done. But I didn't. I didn't because we were next in line and you were hungry. When it finally came to the big moment, I grabbed your hand and stopped you in front of the castle entrance. Scott knew what I was about to do and led the group further into Fantasyland giving me a quick thumbs up. As you took pictures of the castle I looked around and saw how hectic everything was. Little kids were running around and crying, people were taking pictures of the castle and walking past us. It wasn't the right time. It felt too cliche, too movie-like. If I were going to say it I wanted it to be when we were being us. Lydia and Stiles. Lounging around on the couch, eating junk food, watching TV, bickering and laughing over stupid things. Instead I sighed and told you how beautiful you were before kissing you and pulling you along to catch up with our friends. 

 

8\. We were sat in our favorite diner studying for our finals. We were sitting in our favorite booth on the right side in the way back. You ordered pancakes and a cup of coffee with Hazelnut creamer. I ordered an omelet and coffee with the same creamer even though it was two am and wasn’t breakfast time. We had been studying all night and we were growing tired. You were writing your essay and you had your notes and books spread out on your side of the table, a half a cup of coffee to your right and half eaten pancakes to your left. My books were in front of me and I watched as your hand wrote swiftly and gracefully along the paper. You stopped and massaged your wrist, re-reading your work before going back to writing again. It was raining outside and there were very little people in the diner. I tried to keep on studying but I couldn’t focus, things were rushing through my head and I knew I had to tell you right then and there. No more waiting and stalling. What better place to tell you than right in our favorite place to be? In this quiet little diner where the temperature was cozy and the seats were comfy. Where we felt most comfortable in sweats and a hoodie. Where your hair was pulled back and you had no make-up on, when I thought you looked most beautiful even though you continue to tell me i'm wrong. We both had dark circles and could barely stay awake. This is when I knew. This was us. In the most natural form we could possibly be in. I took in a deep breath and blurted it out. Your hand stopped writing and your head shot up. You looked at me in surprised and smiled widely. You bit your bottom lip as a blush creep up your face. I let out a breath i didn’t know I was holding in, I was going to apologize but then stopped when I heard your voice. "I know." You smirked and I was taken aback. I began to grin like an idiot at your amazing Star Wars reference, but before I could form a witty response back, you took my hand and squeezed it tightly. "I love you too." Those simple words said so softly and so intimately. You smiled and went back to writing and I went back to reading from my text book. Just like that it was said. It was like a giant weight was lifted off my shoulders and I could finally stop worrying about how i was going to tell you. After that day those three words came out more frequently. Whether it was between breathless kisses or whispers at night, it was being said. And each time it felt just like the first. And each time I said it, the feeling grew stronger and stronger.


End file.
